Entertainment – Page 3 – The Altdorf Correspondent

There are many stories and folk songs about life and death sung in the taverns of Altdorf. Many have erotic or horrific undertones, and many make fun of outrageously behaving nobles or clergy and a fumbling and incompetent City Watch.

But many also describe the world surrounding the Empire. Lately the renowned lute player and folk singer Christoph Von Kleinestadt has gained popularity performing his song “The Estalian Coach” at various venues in our capital. I have heard it many times during my outings to The Burning Table, and have taken the liberty of scribing the text to preserve it for those who come after me.

As my observant reader will notice, Von Kleinestadt brings together current events in Altdorf (see my short text on Heartless Jochen) as well as the sinister symbolics of Old World rural folk lore (The Great Jester mentioned in my writings on Gaspar und Gretchen makes an appearance). Wrapped up in this ditty is also a theological conundrum; is it possible that the gods are playing games with their followers, and that our very souls can be staked in a game of chance? Needless to say, the Church of Morr is not amused by the lyrics. Also note the use of the card game Pochen as a symbolic battle between the forces of Chaos and the Lord of Death.

There’s an Estalian coach that runs between
Gualcasar and Bilbali.
In the dead of night the bugle blows,
And people hear,
she’s running still.

And then they hush their children back to sleep,
lock the doors, upstairs they creep.
For it is said that the souls of the dead,
fill that coach –
ten thousand deep!

Well a coaching man lay dying,
with his people by his side.
His family were crying,
knelt in prayer before he died.

But above his bed
just a-waiting for the dead,
was the Jester with a twinkle in his eye.
– Well Morr’s not around,
and look what I’ve found,
This one’s mine!

Just then the Lord of Death appeared
in a blinding flash of light.
And shouted at the Jester
– Get thee hence to endless night!

But the Jester just grinned,
and said, – I may have sinned,
but there’s no need to push me around.
– I got him first
so you can do your worst,
He’s going underground!

– But I think I’ll give you one more chance,
said the Jester with a smile.
– So throw away that stupid lance,
It’s really not your style.

– Jochen is the name, Pochen is the game,
we’ll play right here on his bed!
And then we’ll bet for the bigger stakes yet;
The souls of the dead!

And I said,
– Look out, Lord, He’s gonna win,
The sun is down and the night’s riding in.
That coach is dead on time,
many souls are on the line,
Oh, Lord he’s gonna win!

Well the coaching man he cut the cards,
and he dealt them each a hand of five.
And for the Lord he was praying hard,
for that coach he’d have to drive…

Well, the Jester he had three aces and king.
And Morr, He was running for a straight.
He had the queen and the knave
and a nine and ten of spades,
All He needed was the eight…

And then Morr he called for one more card,
But He drew the diamond eight,
And the Jester said to the Lord of Death,
– I believe you’ve got it straight.

– So deal me one,
for the time has come to see
who’ll be the king of this place.
But as he spoke, from beneath his cloak,
He slipped another ace…

Ten thousand souls was the opening bid,
Soon went up to fifty-nine.
But Morr did not see what the Jester did,
And said, – That suits me fine.
I’ll raise you high, to a hundred and five,
and forever put an end to your sins!

But the Jester let out a mighty shout,
– My hand wins!

And I said, – Lord, oh Lord, you’ve let him win,
The sun is down and the night is riding in.
That coach is dead on time,
many souls are on the line,
Oh Lord don’t let him win…

Well that Estalian coach still runs between,
Gualcasar and Zaraguz,
In the dead of night the bugle blows,
and people fear,
she’s running still…

And far away in some recess,
Morr and the jester are now playing chess.
The jester still cheats and wins more souls,
And as for Lord Morr,
well, He’s just doing his best….

And I said,
– Lord, oh Lord, you’ve got to win,
The sun is down and the night is riding in.
That coach is still on time,
oh my soul is on the line…
Oh Lord, you’ve got to win…

Adolphus Altdorfer
Marktag, Pflugzeit 24, 2522 IC

According to Wikipedia, “Pochen” could be the root of the name for the card game we today know as “Poker”.

With thanks and sincere apologies to Chris De Burgh, who wrote the song Spanish Train, upon which The Estalian Coach is based.

Magnus

A new form of entertainment has reached Altdorf; a hand puppet or marionette theatre featuring the characters of Gaspar and his wife Gretchen as well as a menagerie of supporting figures. I believe that it traces its origins back to Tilea, although the name Gaspar surely originates from Kislev. For sure, the characters are as colourful as any Tilean and they dress and behave just as outrageously. My theory is that the show reached Kislev before Altdorf, and that is why the main character is called Gaspar. There some who claim that the puppets and the story they play out is a creation of Chaos, a lure to gain access to the minds of the children … and if what I have observed at the secret screenings is true, the adults as well. For each and every person who attends this Gaspar und Gretchen puppet show is enthralled by the spectacle. Given a theory of involvement by the powers of Chaos, the show might have migrated from the Chaos Wastes to Kislev and then further into the Empire and down to Tilea.

The theatre is performed by a “Professor” sitting in a box or a booth equipped with a small stage. He uses puppets or marionettes and the play itself is a string of short episodes each depicting an interaction between two of the characters of the cast. Most often it is the rascal Gaspar together with one of his numerous victims that grace the stage. Gaspar is a symbol of The Great Jester of Old World folklore, and accordingly dresses as a jester in a colourful suit with bells on his hat. He has an enormous hooked nose that curves so as to almost meet his chin. It is almost a beak more than a nose. The puppet is armed with a stick as large as he himself is tall, and he finds great pleasure in using this to rain violence on the other characters of the play. His voice is a squawk, a distinctive and grating noise. This effect is achieved by the Professor using a contraption of weed and wood in his mouth while speaking.

Gaspar und Gretchen

The story varies somewhat between Professors, but the recurring theme is the same; Gaspar behaving totally irresponsible, fighting his wife Gretchen and dealing with their baby in the most outrageous ways imaginable. The cast also consists of a goblin, a hangman, a City Watchman and a powerful Chaos demon named Gideon. Another constant is Gaspar’s punchline “That’s the way to do it”! Gaspar triumphs in a series of encounters with the law but also with the forces of Chaos. The Goblin is a humorous aside, but the final scene is a showdown between Gaspar and Gideon, where the jester ultimately triumphs, exclaiming “Huzzah! Huzzah! I’ve killed the Demon”! Everything is shockingly humorous and performed with great comedic impact, intended to provoke laughter and shocked amusement.

Gaspar und Gideon

So is this Chaos trying to win another foothold in our beleaguered capital? If so it can only be Tzeentch, the Changer of Ways, who advocates such anarchy and wanton behaviour as that displayed by the puppets. And who is The Great Jester if not Tzeentch himself? But then again at the end of the play Gaspar defeats Gideon, a powerful Chaos Demon so maybe this is a show about how to defeat Chaos with Chaos. An intriguing tale for sure. I have no doubt that the Witch Hunters will try to put a stop to the puppet shows by burning every booth and Professor they find. They wait only for our Emperor to sign the suggested law banning these spectacles from performing in the Empire. But given the preponderance of nobles and artistocrats at the shows I have attended, I’m sure that Gaspar is safe for now. I’m not so sure that we are.

Adolphus Altdorfer
Nachexen 25, 2522

Of course, Gaspar und Gretchen is based on the adventures of Punch and Judy. The illustrations are by caracturist George Cruickshank and appeared in The Tragical Comedy or Comical Tragedy of Punch and Judy in 1828.

The possibilities for adventures involving Gaspar und Gretchen are endless. Is the show a conspiracy? Or is it harmless entertainment? Does it hide something sinister and forbidding, or is it a warning to The Empire about the coming of Chaos? And who are the Professors and where do they come from? And last but not least, what if the characters would encounter Gaspar und Gretchen in real life? The horror! The horror!

Magnus